When You’re Not Great, But You Want To Be

All I really care about is that I’m being honest and I’m real and I’m coming from a real place.
– Joshua Homme

Well, here you guys go.

It’s a day late and there’s no music because I don’t actually have any recording equipment. Also, as I may have mentioned, I’m not a good rapper. Part of it is the lack of music, but it’s mostly my lack of flow that makes this sound almost more like beat poetry. It’s also a little faster than it should be; I finish a few bars ahead of the music I’m listening to.

But. If you want to get better, you have to acknowledge where you are. This is where I am.

(I’m almost relieved I have to use this pain in the ass file host, since it means less of you will download this.)

http://www.filesnack.com/files/c7p8r8lj

Rapping is Hard But They Make It Look Easy

Debating whether or not you can even weather the storm
– Patiently Waiting, Eminem

I made a two hour playlist of tracks from Eminem, 50 Cent, Macklemore and DMX, with a handful of other big names tossed in, and I learned two things.

One, it’s easy and fun to practice while in the car. It gets me in a good mood, makes the drive go by faster, scares the people in cars next to me, and puts otherwise wasted time to good use. There are no downsides here.

Two, I SUCK at rapping. My flow’s untouchable, but not in the good way. Every now and then when I know the song really well and it happens to be right at my speed/key, I can sound alright, but otherwise I just don’t have it. I’m really glad to be learning this now, while I have plenty of time to improve before I have to go in front of other people.

I was going to post the playlist here, but it’s pretty long and you guys know where to find rap if you want to. Next up, I’ll pick some of my favorites that I can find instrumental tracks to, practice them way more than I’ll ever admit to you, and then upload recordings of myself here.

Yeah, I’m really gonna do that.

Days of Fake Rap

I’m a switch hitter bitch Jimmy Smith ain’t a quitter
– Rabbit Run, Eminem

Yeah – next on the list is rapping. A friend of mine wants to perform a parody rap and, if I’m going to do this, I’m going to try to do it well. I’ve screwed around with freestyling, and I’m always making up alternate words to songs with my friends – writing and rhyming comes pretty easily to me.

The actual rapping, though? That’s not gonna be easy, and I haven’t done it before. I want this performance to be good, not just okay – so I’m going to commit to practicing, and really try to make this decent, if not actually good. I don’t know exactly what this practice will look like, but here’s what I plan for the week:

• Day 1 – spend an hour or two rapping along with some of my favorites from Eminem, 50 Cent, Snoop and Macklemore (yeah, I’m a white boy rap fan).
• Day 2 – get some a capella tracks for some of the songs I did in day 1, and record myself rapping the whole thing. Post recordings here. Hide head in shame.
• Day 3 – write my own words parodying one of the songs above, record, post here. My head will still be hidden so I won’t have to do that part again.
• Day 4, 5, 6 – repeat.
• Day 7 – practice with/in front of my friend who’s going to rap with me (and probably his wife, and maybe a few others). Try and get used to doing it in front of a crowd while actually trying to sound good.

I think a week like this will get me far enough that I’ll know what other, specific things I need to do, and if there’s more to write. After the week’s up, I’ll post an update once a week with my progress.

I said I wanted to do everything…